"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them -- every day begin the task anew."
Saint Francis de Sales

"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl."
Stephan Hoeller

Black Dots

Have you taken the right path in life? The right path for you? Do you feel that something is missing? Is there an emptiness?

Maybe you go to church every Sunday, you do Bible studies, you have Christian friends, you try to always do the right thing. What is missing?

I was raised to go to church every Sunday. I was told about heaven and scared about going to hell. I tried to be a really good person, and yet.. I was crying out to God so often, wondering why I felt the way that I did.

A nun told my 1st grade class that every time we sin, we would get a black dot on our soul. Once our soul is full of the black dots and all black, there was no turning back. We would have only hell to look forward to. Can you imagine what that did to me and the children I went to school with? Young children are so impressionable and believe what those in authority tell us. I don't know about the others, but I sure believed her.

I reached an age where I knew my soul was black. With the lies and bad things I did in my life, surely I was now going to hell. The crazy thing was, at this age of realizing that I had sinned often, I was old enough to know better, to know that the nun was out of her mind telling young children this story, but there was a part of me that sincerely believed it. The years after that (knowing my soul was pure black) were black..selfish, very worldly.

I stopped going to church after the 8th grade.. I visited friend's churches occassionally, but I didn't feel worthy of doing anything more than just visiting. I even had some people pray for me and prostelitize to me when I was in my 20's and when I could not accept that they were telling me, they cried. They said they wanted to see me in Heaven someday and if I did not accept Jesus soon, that might not happen.

I didn't feel good enough, Christian enough, holy enough. I felt that if people really knew the real me, they would stay 10 ft. away, or rather shun me. My thoughts were not always pure.. my past was something out of movie...surely God could not forgive me!! I mean really!

Everyone said.. just say this sinner's prayer and God will take care of the rest. Well, that is like telling someone... just sit here on this couch and a job will fall into your lap. God does want to complete what He started in us.. but He does need a little bit of our help. If we don't hear Him, He will send people our way to help us get on the right path.. but we have to be open to that. I had people in malls walk up to me and give me pamplets. I had people walk up to me at the beach and at the grocery store. It was a little embarrassing.. because it happened a lot. I look back now and see that God had a hand in this.. He knew how dense I was and was really trying to get the point across!!

I realized later in life, that I really didn't know Who God was. Who was this Jesus that could come and cleanse me of my sin, and asked for nothing but my faith. How could I have faith in someone I could not see? I wanted to much to believe. I wanted so much to fit in. Everyone else seemed to understand, seemed confident and I still felt lost.

Who is God? How can you really describe the indescribable? How can you put into words the immenseness of Who God is? Is He church? Is He the Bible? What is He? Was going to church enough? Why was I still empty?

It wasn't until I started to pray...not the rote prayers of my childhood, and not what people told me to pray. I started to ask Jesus to reveal Himself to me. Now I pray for that daily. I didn't have a mountain experience in my walk with the Lord, like some people do. I did not have a honeymoon period in the beginning, if that is what you want to call it. But, I can say, that when I pray, when I find that little bit of time to be alone with the Lord. In my home, my car, where ever I am.. I feel something. The more I do it, the closer I feel. Sometimes, I don't use words to pray. I just sit. I ask Jesus if He has anything for me that day. I do get up at times and feel that I had no connection at all...but then, as God usually works in my life, I see things all day long that can only be from God. He opens my eyes to goodness, to laughter, to His holiness in many ways.

I find that these times with Jesus are my favorite. Another favorite time is when I am singing and praising Him with others. Worship is such a special time in church. I close my eyes and I feel the music and I ponder the words in the songs being sung... and as I and all of the others are sharing our love for God with the joy of singing, I feel Him.

I found my Jesus when I was alone and when I begged Him to be in my life and I took the time to "just be" with Him.

I am not saying to not go to church.. of course not. I am not saying that God's Word in the Bible isn't created for us to read and to help us. It truly is for us and from God. What I am saying is that God is this and so much more. I went to church for years and never questioned anything or anyone. I wanted so badly to be clean, to be accepted, that I believed what seasoned Christians told me. I listened to how they interpreted the Bible. I stood on the hardline of fundamentalism with fists clenched tight and with a self righteousness of believing that "I knew it all." Of course, because I studied the Word, I went to church, I wore the right apparel, I tried to look the part and be the perfect Christian.

I am here to tell you that no one knows it all. And, when someone says something to you that doesn't sit well with your heart, question it! And, if you speak to a pastor or a seasoned Christian and what they say doesn't sit right with you, question it! Go to God Himself. Even the most scholarly and well intentioned of Christians might have it wrong once in awhile... We can intercede for others with prayer, and they can do the same for us, but we can also go to God without a middle man. This was a concept I that was hard for me to accept, because I was raised in the Catholic faith. We weren't even given Bibles in parochial school.

Church is a special place... and there are so many different kinds of churches! Try many! You might find that one holds a special place for you. A place where God may want you to be for awhile, to grow, to make friendships, to learn. But, it is in that quiet personal time with the Lord, that time for just you and Him, where a personal relationship with Christ is truly born. It is that "personal relationship" that Jesus longs for with us.. and our heart longs for with Him! It is when you start to build that foundation, and that relationship, where the emptiness starts to disappear, the lonliness goes away. This is where God fills you so full, that when you are overfilled with His Spirit and His love, you reflect Him. This is when you realize what it is truly meant to be a "Christian". This is when God transforms you, and you let Him.

Our Abba Father is waiting for us to come to Him. He longs to hold us. Like a father or mother who has not seen their child in years, He waits and longs for us to come to Him. He longs for us to know Him and to trust Him.

For the nun who told me that my soul would fill with black dots.... I do forgive her. She meant well. It is the way of many to scare us into goodness and belief. I think there is a better way, but she truly did not mean to hurt us...she wanted to save us. (Jesus never used scare tactics)

So, you've said the sinner's prayer (which can be whatever words you want to use). Now what? Spend time alone and know that God is with you. He has always been with you. He is listening and He will finish what He has started in you. Find a church you love and feel comfortable in. If you have questions...please ask questions! Human beings are not perfect, but they are trying to do the right thing for you.

Know that God is pure love! Pure love. Where there is light there can be no darkness. God is pure light. We bring the wrath of darkness upon ourselves if we step out of His light. Why would we want to do that? ( 1 John: 5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all[b] sin. )

Read the Bible, Pray, Find Alone Time With God, Find a good church, God will lead you to the rest.

I would choose a church which endeavors to practice what it preaches, translating its beliefs into everyday life. . ." I would choose a church which endeavors to practice what it preaches, translating its beliefs into everyday life. . ." Billy Graham


Blessings and Love be with you. I pray that you will embrace God with your whole heart today and live a life of the fullness that God wants for you. He wants that for you today. You don't need to wait until you get to heaven...He wants that for you today!

HAGAR

As we study the Patriarch's and we have embraced Hagar in our most recent study, I thought this would be appropriate. For a more complete story of Hagar, please read Genesis.

Hanging on to Hope

By Mary Dunham-Faulkner

The brazen servant-who-was-a-mistress for a short, exalted time was paying for her sins. Yes, she had been cocky and shamelessly proud. After all, she had slept with and produced the joy of his heart--more than his wife had done for him. Sarah had punished her for her sin, banishing her from the only home she had known. And Abraham, the one who was always gentle and loving to the boy and her, had betrayed her too, sending her and their son away into the desert of certain death.

But was it so wrong to revel in that brief moment of her life when everything looked good, as if life was finally coming together for her. Who destined one to be a Sarah-beauty queen of the desert, wealthy and blessed, and one to be a Hagar--servant, lowly, used? Who decides which one gives the orders and which one obeys them? Commanding someone to sweep the floor and feed the camels is one thing. Demanding she give up her body and put her womb out for hire is quite another.

Still, she had been the winner. At least for one lightning-second-moment when Abraham had sought her out to make love to her and then later, to check on his son. Her son. Their son. The intimacy she had craved all of her life was as sweet as the gurgling baby in her arms.

But now, along in a hot, blazing desert, she realized it was only a mirage, a life-picture too good to be true. Her one priceless dream--her son--was a few feet away, dying. She had sat him down and moved away so she wouldn't hear his soundless cries for food and water. After he died, she would wait and pray for death, too. She had nowhere to go, no one to lean on

Hagar, Sarah's bondservant, did what all of us are tempted to do when we don't see any way out. She gave up. After all, what use is there in praying when God has never seemed too interested in what happened to you anyway? Her story yields lessons for you and me offering wisdom for those times when our desert feels like the most deserted, deadly one. Hagar, this low-class servant girl, is our teacher here and shows us how to survive abandonment, despair, and the death of a dream.

Your greatest enemy in the desert is fear.

Hagar thought she needed water, food, and shelter to survive. It turns out that her real need was confidence-a belief that she was going to survive this latest crisis in her life. She had been in the desert in similar circumstances; maybe not as bad as this, but she had survived the experience.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you thought you could not do."

Looking fear in the face takes courage. Refusing to be overcome by a spirit of paralyzing, terrorizing panic requires an unmovable faith in the fact that God will keep His promise of never leaving us alone.

My ninety-two year old mother tells the story of coming home from the doctor's office several years ago after he told her that she had cancer in her uterus. "O God! What am I going to do?" she cried out alone on her bed that night.

We'll do this together," He promised her. She testifies of a peace that washed over her that night and has never left her since. Peace, that wonderful gift of God, is all we need in any adverse circumstance. The enemy of our soul cannot manufacture or pierce the tranquility of a soul-quiet so strong it can overcome anything-even death.

Don't make major decisions about life when you're discouraged and down.

When we find Hagar in the desert in this dramatic story in Genesis 21, she is on a deathwatch; sure her only child is going to die. It turns out that she was not alone at all, her son did not die, and her life did not end. Making decisions when we are depressed, afraid, or angry assures a crop of failure. Pain distorts vision. When you are surrounded by darkness, it's not a great time to pick up the phone and call your offended, sell your house, or declare God to be dead. What seems absolutely true today does not necessarily make it so. There is always one more thing you know about your own circumstances.

Just because you can't see God in Your Desert of Death doesn't mean He's not there.
Hagar thought she was alone, but obviously she was misinformed. God was there. Did she think God only cared about Sarah and Abraham, the really important people He had chosen for His really important work? She was wrong. Perhaps if she had not experienced this terrible desert, she would not have discovered that God is also the God of the destitute, the rejected, the refugee, and the one who has received the sentence of death.

Just as He had a great plan for Sarah, the wealthy mistress who had everything, He had a unique, grand plan for Hagar-the poor unimportant bondservant, too. He shows up in her desert, just like He will show up in yours. His words were straight and to the point, refusing Hagar the pity we all want at such a time. "Get up" He commands her. Obviously self-pity and prophecies of doom are not appropriate, ever. Excuses of why others can, but we can't, are not acceptable. Simply, "Get up." Now there's a word from God that will work even on our good days!

Just like Hagar, sometimes we are so self-involved, focusing on what might happen that we don't see the things around us that will see us through. I'm wondering why Hagar didn't see the well of water nearby her when she thought she and her son were going to die from dehydration. When God shows up, He shows her the solution that was there all along. Just a few feet away from her was the water she and her son needed to live.

The ordinary, everyday miracles of our life are often overlooked while we cry out to God for "a miracle to see us through." Miracles can come in the shape of an old friend who is always there come hell or high water or in a still undeveloped talent that has the potential to start a new business...or in the junior college in our community or the Christian counselor who helps us see our problem in a new way.

Look around you. Your water-well is close by. It's okay to ask God to do what He did for Hagar, to simply open your eyes to see something you never saw before.

Ishmael, Hagar's son, didn't die. In fact, God grew him into a nation. And Hagar? She ended up being the ancestor of even more sons and tribes and nations. Crises don't change us. They simply hold the seeds of change in their dry, never-ending, thirsty deserts. It's up to you and me to invite the Holy Spirit to come into our situation and show us things about the Father that we may have forgotten; that He loves the lowly, needy one; that He visits us in our deserts; and that He always enlarges us through the thing we thought was going to kill us.

Prayer

Please pray for my brother in law Bill Spindler who is being operated on right now for complications with his gall bladder. He was in so much pain.

Please pray for my nephew who seems to be coming back to the Lord.

Please pray for my mother who found out she has coritid arteries, and strokes run in our family.

Please pray for all of the new graduates, that they find their way in this world, with the help of our Lord Jesus.

Please pray for marriages. Many are being strained right now, which is just what the enemy would like to see! He knows what buttons to push... push back!!

Please pray for Iran and its people, for peach and democracy.

Please pray for all of our soldiers and family that might be overseas helping in these and other efforts. Lord please plant your mighty angels around them and protect them from all evil.

Please pray for those that have recently lost jobs, houses, and more. These are tumultuous times and we need to watch out for our brothers and sisters!!

Psalm 63:2-3 I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you.

Women's Bible Study Vacation

The Women's Bible study will be taking a short break through the month of July and will continue in August. There were a lot of get away plans for this month, so this seemed like the right thing to do.

If anyone would like to join up in August, we would love to have you!!!

Call Marian for more information~ 949-291-2553

Friday, September 11th and Saturday September 12th
Please Join Us!!
Call Marian at 949-291-2553

WELCOME TO OUR WOMEN

I am creating this Blog for information pertaining to the women of the effect! If you have anything to share with us, please do.

My first message to you is that our Women of Faith Event is coming soon and I really need our payments in by this Sunday.. June 21. If you can not pay by this Sunday, please let me know and we will work something out.

Thank you so much!!
Blessings!

Marian